The Photo Shoot and Why I Have Not Posted in a While

Sorry it has been a while since my last post. A lot has happened and this will be a long post. Last Sunday was my photo shoot with Bree at the beach. We spent a good couple of hours wearing different bikinis and looking sexy for the camera. Overall I think it went really well and we had a good time.

Here is a sneak preview that Carolyn sent me. I hope you guys think I look sexy in this bikini

I admit during the shoot it took a lot of work to keep my sexual urges under control while see Bree in a bikini. After the photo shoot was done Bree and I went to the hotel room and had a couple of drinks. Those drinks must have clouded our judgement and we let our sexual urges go wild. After about an hour of the most amazing sex I have ever had we just laid their a cuddled. As Bree eventually fell asleep I start to come to the realization that once again I let my urges get the better of me. I still do not know Olivia very well and I don't know what her stance is on Bree having any kind of sexual relationship with me. I decided it was best if I left for a while and think about everything that has happened lately. I found out a couple days ago while I was at my parents house I have a grandmother in Arizona that I had not properly met since I have became a woman. I left Bree a note explaining the situation and I hoped she would forgive me when I got back to Miami.
That was about a week ago during the time I have had time to go over the whirlwind of events I have been apart of. For the first few days I thought about Bree said after we had sex,"Oh Tonya! you are an amazing girl! I wish it could be like this all the time but, you know I really love Olivia, and she loves me. I hate to even bring her up after what we just did and maybe we can get together like this from time to time. I don't know. I really wanted to do this, with you  but I knew that it would end up like this. Can't we just go back, and start it all over again. Just go back in time a few hours and make love again all over again!" Originally I took this as if I was some kind of parasite on Bree life. I was just causing problem and confusing her about her relationship with Olivia. Now I have come to a realization. Bree has a huge heart. She loves Olivia but she doses deeply care about me. It might sound odd but I am fine with this. I want Bree to be happy because she wants the same for me. We will be best friends and hang out all the time. I if we occasionally have sex it will be fun but I will not be sad when she goes back to Olivia. I also have missed something right in front of me. I have been so content at my pursuit for Bree I have missed that their is someone who has feelings for me that I have pushed aside. Dani has been their for me in the few days we have know each other and I had not realized she has been sending me messages that I just kept shooting down. I hope Dani is not to upset I left without telling her. Hopefully when I get home I can give her the attention she deserves and see if anything comes out of it.In a way I finally feel like I am truly at peace with my situation. I know the road won't be easy but I hope with my new friends by my side it will be easier. I decided to visit Carolyn before I went back to Miami and have been in New York since Thursday afternoon. I promise I will get into the details of my time in New York at a later time but right now I am hoping on a plane to Miami and should be home in a few hours. I hope that my friends forgive me for what has happened and that we can just go from here. I will talk to you guys later and wish me luck.